Daniel by Jacqui
by anngraham
Summary: The reason why it's known as the 'green eyed monster', as Graham finds out the hard way. Warning: Dark themes ahead. Written by my good friend Jacqui, who sadly is no longer with us.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** All characters are entirely fictional and do not belong to me, they are the property of the creators of 'Swamp Thing'. Sadly I am making no money out of this.

**Notes:** This is a dark fic, no fluffy bunnies here! You've been warned!

**Daniel  
Part 1**  
by **Jacqui**

Graham was disturbed to see a faint light from the main lab as he slipped quietly past, he hadn't expected Dr Arcane to be up so late. A few months ago he would have gone in to speak to Arcane, maybe try to encourage him to get some sleep or offer to make him a hot drink, and probably he'd have been turned away with sarcasm or abuse. Back then that wouldn't have stopped him trying, but back then he wouldn't have been away from the compound late at night, he wouldn't have had a reason. So much had changed.

Graham couldn't risk meeting Arcane now, he had no doubt that the doctor would see through his secrets if he came upon him without having enough time to slip back into role. Bumbling, insecure, adoring Graham had to be firmly in place, Arcane could not be allowed to meet the Graham who had learnt how to smile and laugh, to believe that he was worth more than insults and threats. Daniel had taught him so much, taught him how to like himself and to accept that he was worthy of giving and receiving love. "Daniel," Graham breathed the name to himself, caressing it, longing to be able to shout it out, to tell the world how much in love he was and how proud of his lover. He sobered abruptly and choked down his insane impulse. He must never give away their secret, never do anything to put Daniel in danger.

Graham didn't begin to feel any sense of safety until he was in his own bedroom. He had a few precious hours before he had to begin to get back into his old skin, prepare himself to be the daytime Graham who worked alongside Dr. Arcane. This was his private time, when he could take in what it meant to be truly happy for the first time in his life.

When he had first seen Daniel there had been just the merest moment of surprised recognition. Sitting in the audience, looking up at a dimly lit stage Graham had seen the slim figure bent over the unwieldy bulk of his cello, long dark hair falling forward into his eyes. He had glanced down the row to Arcane and had just seen a superficial resemblance but that was swept away by better lighting and his close, rapt attention to the man on the stage. That night Graham found himself totally engaged by the performance, usually bored by classical music he now wanted it to go on forever, wanted to see every possible moment of the beautiful young man with the cello. He had thought that would be all he would get to treasure and keep.

Graham still couldn't think how he had found the self confidence to go back stage after the concert. He had told himself that he was just bored, needing to stretch his legs while Dr Arcane got down to the serious purpose of the evening. He had been brought along as chauffeur and bodyguard, he was not required at the after concert drinks party where Arcane was checking out a certain congressman's susceptibility to bribes. The doctor had a 'trophy' girlfriend with him to help work on the politician and he didn't want Graham lurking in the background. So Graham went backstage, and he met Daniel. And he fell in love.

Even now Graham couldn't quite understand why Daniel had been even remotely interested in him. He had met the younger man while looking around for a cup of coffee and Daniel, having reasons of his own for wanting to escape the orchestra gossip, had taken him to the nearby Starbucks. They had laughed together over the pretentious range of coffees on sale and Graham could hardly believe it of himself, laughing? When had he last laughed? Ever? And they had talked. They seemed to have nothing in common and yet they had so much to talk about. Daniel had just come out of a serious relationship, the first he'd had since acknowledging he was gay. There had been a lot of violence and betrayal at the end and he was still hurting. Graham had never met anyone who he was so sure would understand him. He told the younger man of the years he'd spent loving someone who only seemed capable of returning love with cruelty, who would neither accept that there was something between them nor let Graham go. Neither of them had given details, names and events didn't matter, what they were sharing was their feelings. When Graham realised, with great terror, how late it was and began to panic Daniel seemed to understand and realise who it was that would be waiting for him.

They exchanged mobile numbers but Graham expected nothing to come of it, he went off to face the doctor's near homicidal rage with little more than the memory of one wonderful evening to sustain him. The surprise to him was how much sustenance it did give, how much he could bear if let himself think of Daniel.

He would never have dared call Daniel, but to his amazement Daniel called him. The orchestra was in town for another week and Graham became obsessed with making as much of that precious time as he could, taking ludicrous risks, lying to Doctor Arcane so that he could be with Daniel. In that week they became lovers. Graham hadn't known that he could fall in love with gentleness, he had let himself believe that he needed abuse in order to become aroused and was amazed to find how erotic it was to cared for and treated tenderly. He realised that a man could be brilliant and beautiful without becoming cruel. Daniel was clever but he never seemed to use his cleverness as a weapon, he appreciated beauty without needing to possess it and he had a sense of humour but didn't need to demonstrate it at anyone else's expense.

When Graham could actually bring himself to believe that Daniel could love him then it transformed his view of himself. Even more that Daniel accepted so unquestioningly that Graham could not leave Houma, and was always prepared to fly back in his breaks from performing. He never complained and never tried to pressurise Graham into doing his share of the traveling. Graham couldn't bring himself to explain his fear of discovery because to do so he would have to reveal at least a fraction of the evil of which Arcane was capable. It was easier to bear the risk that Daniel might misinterpret Graham's reasons than to reveal to him any of the monstrous acts with which Graham had colluded, he trusted completely in Daniel's love but was not sure that even that could withstand too much truth.


	2. Chapter 2

Graham had fallen asleep almost immediately, stretched out on his bed fully clothed. He slept easily, lulled by dreams of Daniel and the time passed sweetly. He didn't know at first why he had awakened with a cold dread in the pit of his stomach, why the sense of ease had vanished. It was just a sensation that he was not alone, the feeling of a weight on the other side of the bed, a strange presence. He struggled to gain his full senses and shifted confusedly, still half asleep when a quiet, low voice spoke close to his ear. "Awake, Graham?"

"Sir," he stuttered, "Wh... what's wrong?"

"Wrong?" the quiet voice asked, "why should anything be wrong? I just thought we should have a little chat. This is such a good time for it Graham, a good time for honesty."

Dr Arcane laid his hand gently on Graham's head, toying with the soft wisps of hair. Graham fought down a tremor, resisting a desire to move. He couldn't see his bed side clock by the soft glow of the wall light but he could *feel* the time of night, the early dead hours when the human mind is at its most vulnerable. He knew that the doctor had chosen the time deliberately. He felt the heat of Arcane's breath on his neck and could barely make out the sibilant whisper. "I can smell him on you."

"Wh..what?" Graham could hardly speak for the tightness in his throat.

"Oh, don't insult me," a low, angry, snarl, "Your lover, your pretty little musician, you reek of him."

Graham stiffened, gripped by fear. "Daniel," he breathed, "Daniel." He struggled, trying to get up. Arcane tightened his hand on Graham's hair to a painful grip and used his other hand to press down on his chest, making it hard for him to breath.

"Please," Graham gasped, "what have you done to him? Please, please don't hurt him."

"Hurt him, Why would I?" Arcane asked in a light tone of voice. "It isn't as though you take this young man too seriously is it? Not as though you would ever want to leave me? Remember Graham, how you once swore that I would never be rid of you...

...Remember that?" His voice thickened and he pressed harder on his assistant's chest, forcing the breath out of him.

"You would never think of leaving me would you? Never betray me?"

Graham struggled, gasping against the increasing pressure. "No, please, no. Never leave you. Never betray you."

"But that's not true is it? Every time you lie to me, hide your little secrets, pretend to feelings you just don't have..." Arcane's voice rose in pitch, shrill with anger, "every time you do that you betray me."

The doctor fell silent and Graham lay in the dark, rigid with fear. The grip on his head and the pressure on his rib cage lessened. Arcane resumed the gentle stroking of his assistant's hair and seemed to compose himself, his breathing regular and quiet in the darkness. When he spoke again his voice was steady, almost conversational. "Oh I can see the attraction Graham, your new friend comes from a very different world to ours, he can afford to ignore life's nastier realities. He deals in beauty, and his music is beautiful, he has talent." Arcane shifted his hand to Graham's shoulder and moved a little closer to him. "He doesn't have to face the kind of choices that you and I are forced to make." He stroked Graham, his touch gentle, "does he know about the choices? Have you told him about the things you've done? For me? For our work?" Arcane paused, letting a moment of silence build. "'Well?" He asked in a harder tone, "have you told him?"

Graham let out a defeated little moan, "no" he said, "no."

Arcane seemed almost pleased with him. "You see, you know you can't tell him the truth. He wouldn't understand. Different worlds, Old chap. You don't belong with him Graham, the two of you can never really understand each other, not like we do, you and I."

Graham forced himself to speak, trying to force himself to believe in the doctor's apparent calm, even benevolence. "I only see Daniel, well, when he's not touring. I could never leave here. He knows that. It doesn't have to affect...," he stumbled for the words, "...us."

"But it does, Graham," the cold hiss had returned to Arcane's voice and the easy tone had gone. "Every time you see that man it affects *me*" He steadied himself to speak more evenly. "So you see it has to stop."

"No" pain dragged the word out of Graham before he could stop himself.

"No?" The anger was dripping from Arcane's voice, palpable in his touch as he tightened his grip on Graham's shoulder. "*You* are telling *me* no?"

"I just, please let me see him sometimes, please." Graham begged, choking back tears.

"You really need to be more careful of your friend's welfare, Graham. Who knows, it might be dangerous, seeing you."

"Don't," Graham whispered, "don't... you wouldn't kill him?"

"Kill him, what a thought. Do you imagine me a murderer?"

*That's exactly what you are,* Graham thought, despairingly. "No, no Sir."

"Of course no one would kill your beloved Daniel. It's just such a dangerous world." As if musing out loud Arcane continued. "Accidents happen all the time. It would be tragic if, for example, he met with an injury to his hands, such a blow to a gifted musician," his voice twisted to a snarl, "if his hands were broken, crushed."

Graham let out an anguished sob, and Arcane quietened again, patting his shoulder.

"Of course," he said, almost gently, "you would have to go to him then, how could anything keep you apart?" The savage tone crept back into his voice, "Love would blossom wouldn't it, if you were his nursemaid, his career, if you were cutting up his food and helping him to the toilet?" Arcane paused, "If he could never play again."

Graham's sobs built up to an unbearable pressure, his throat ached as he choked and hiccupped and he was barely able to speak. "No, please, please," he begged. "I'll end it, I promise." He tried to speak more calmly, breathing deeply through the tears, "it was never serious."

*Liar, betrayer,* his conscience told him.

*Only to save him, only ever for that.*

*To save yourself, so that he never has to know what you are, that he loves a monster.*

Graham was aware that Daniel might still love him, even if he knew the terrible things he'd done, even if he brought disaster upon him. But Graham couldn't love himself, somehow he had always known this could only be a dream. He couldn't escape his past or the man he had become. Even Daniel's love couldn't wash his conscience clean.

Arcane touched Graham's face, his hand lightly brushing away tears. "That's good," he said, his voice almost gentle. "And you will make it ...decisive, won't you? Leave him with no doubts, no reasons to come back here?"

"Yes, all right, all right." Graham knew how to do that, he could use the trust that Daniel had shown in him, exploit his knowledge of past betrayals to break his lover's heart. It wouldn't be hard. Cruelty never was. "Its over," his voice was weak, little more than a sigh. "I'll do what you want, please, its over now."

Arcane shifted his position until he was almost on top of Graham, hand pressed down hard on his shoulders, one knee forcing Graham's legs apart so that he could kneel there, gazing down into Graham's face. "Well, now, old chap, nothing's ever really over is it?" His tone seemed friendly but there was something, an edge to his voice that sent a shiver of fear through Graham. He turned his head away, trying not to meet The Doctor's eyes, not to present any challenge to him.

"You know," Arcane went on, almost as if he was just thinking aloud. "I do have to blame myself somewhat. For your going off to meet your needs elsewhere, away from here, away from *me*." He shifted, freeing one hand so that he could cup Graham's face, forcing him to look up. "This *is* all about your needs, isn't it?

The other man couldn't speak, he was trembling now, deathly afraid without even knowing why. Even in the dim light he could see the cold feral gleam in Arcane's eyes and it paralysed him with fear.

Swiftly, striking like a serpent, Arcane grabbed Graham by the throat. He had them both off the bed, meeting no more resistance than if he was handling a rag doll. He whirled Graham round and slammed him against the wall. Voice oozing menace he hissed, "I never gave you what you wanted, did I, all these years? And this was some kind of revenge, some kind of insult? *You* insulted *me* !"

Arcane turned Graham round to face him. Graham flinched, the cold fury in his employer's eyes terrified him. *This time he will kill me. Perhaps I don't care if he does, perhaps it's what I want.*

But he knew he wouldn't be allowed that easy an escape. *He won't kill me, that would be letting me go. If he can he'll destroy me. * Graham forced himself not to react, not to feed Arcane's anger. *He wants to break me.* Arcane grabbed the front of his assistant's shirt, tearing off button after button, punctuating his comments by ripping at his clothes. "You had the effrontery to chase after that insipid little musician, as if you could substitute *him* for *me*."

Graham's shirt was torn to rags and The Doctor paused, throwing down the mutilated garment. He ran a fingernail over his assistant's bare chest, idly tracing a path through the wiry expanse of hair. "You are mine Graham, and I choose what I do with you, with my property. You do not look elsewhere, you do not lie to me, you do not betray me. Ever." He looked hard into Graham's eyes as he moved his hands down to the other man's belt. Now that Graham knew what Arcane could do to him, what he could take from him, he could not hold back from struggling just slightly. He bit down on his lip to keep himself from begging but he had to resist. If Arcane did this then he would destroy the only thing that Graham had left, those few tender memories of his time with Daniel.

*I found out what it really meant to make love, to be loved. If he takes me now he'll wipe all that away.* He looked up into Arcane's eyes, so cold and emptied of the humanity that he had once believed he had seen there. For a moment, when their eyes met, Graham wondered if it could really be that he had hurt this man. Enough to break something inside him.

*Doesn't matter now,* he told himself, *It's too late.* All he could do was try to protect what little he had, to stay still, to remain unresisting and hope that some part of his mind could hide from this.

Arcane looked at him, his expression terrifying in its coldness. Roughly he unfastened the clothing and yanked trousers and shorts down round Graham's knees, hobbling him. "You do not betray me." He repeated in a tone of cold fury, closing his fist on sensitive flesh and twisting hard.

Graham cried out in pain, he forced himself to stay still, afraid of enraging Arcane still further.

"Do you understand me?" Arcane hissed.

He relaxed his hold as Graham nodded, in too much pain to speak. "That's a good chap." Changing his savage grip to a gentle stroking Arcane smiled into the other man's eyes. It was a smile so devoid of any human feeling that Graham shuddered, he felt he could bear what was to come - however brutal - if there was just a hint of desire in Arcane's eyes, or lust. But there was nothing but ownership, he wasn't a human being to this man - just a piece of property. Arcane studied Graham closely, watching the way he tried to shift his gaze, tried not to meet his eyes.

"You don't really think that there is any part of you that you can keep from me? Any part that I don't own? You know I won't allow it." As Graham was forced to meet that icy gaze he knew that Arcane was too powerful, had possessed him for too long. He knew that, eventually, he would lose his soul to the darkness.

Arcane took a bruising grip on Graham's shoulder and turned him round, slamming his face into the wall so hard that his nose began to bleed. Graham stood helpless, blood and tears mingling, as sharp fingernails dug into his buttocks. "Deep breath, old chap," Arcane called out cheerfully, and the punishment began.

Tears coursing down his face, Graham felt his last, fragile, grip on all that he had ever loved start to slip away.

**The End**


End file.
